Star Wars: As Told by the Non-Watched-It Person

Haha. Greatest title ever.

Basically, this video showcases a girl who is retelling the entire star wars trilogy, except that she has never seen it.

It's great, because she really isn't all that far off.

Enjoy.


Star Wars: Retold (by someone who hasn't seen it) from Joe Nicolosi on Vimeo.

I'm Nuts

 

To those of you who know me, this may not come as a surprise. I'm nuts. I'm a little looney. I have some strange tendencies, and sometimes my thought processes only seem to make sense to me. It's weird. And a touch hard. But hey, that's how I am. Something's gotta keep me conscious.

Therefore, when I sit in my audit staff 101 training (NO, I am not audit staff. I'm advisory staff. But as advisory, I'll be doing some auditing, so it is invaluable to speak the lingo and know at least the theory behind an audit) that all I can think about when I am sitting there are control weaknesses. They present a business process, a software suite, an account, a flowchart, anything, and I can think only of the ways to break it. The ways to find exceptions. The ways to circumvent. That's my mindset when it comes to these things. That's how I know I'm in the right place: I think like an auditor. I think like a security guy. I think like the person who is trying o break the controls. Therefore, being able to audit and check them is a very valuable part of my job.

I think I'm good at business process redesign as well. Why would I say that? I like it. Is that weird? I like looking at an overall process and finding the problems with it. I like analyzing them, comparing them to best practices, and redesigning them to be more efficient. Adding in technology, teaming, and all the other considerations only heightens my excitement. I'm weird. I really am.

The other thing I think about: Diet Coke. Hey, a guy has got to stay up, right?

So, it would appear that I'm in the right profession. Congrats to me.

My bachelor's degree posted today. Hopefully my Master's will post tomorrow.

I have a great life.

OH YEA! And I have a new couch. It's awesome.

Until next time.

It's Been too Long ...

So much has been going on in my life over the last 6 weeks or so, and I've been so limited on my time to get online and write some good posts. So, I'm back, and better than ever.

I'm broadcasting from a new home now, and find myself located in the wonderful Silicon Valley in California. I live just a little south of downtown San Jose, and find myself in an excellent location for my future job and the traveling that I will have to do with my new job. My wife and i moved in officially on the 20th of December, but have been all around the bay area and central valley since we moved in. We came back for good as of January 2nd. I need to run down some of the activities that we did.

December 19 -- The movers arrived at our apartment in Provo, UT and moved us out. As the movers arrived, the snow did as well. It snowed like crazy, and resulted in "white-out" (meaning that visibility is essentially zero) for a while.We planned to move out to California that day, however, we just knew that we couldn't. It was weird though, because the people moving into our apartment after us arrived as our movers were finishing up, and were going to stay. We had paid up through January, and needed one more night. They were nice -- they said we could all stay there together. (/sarcasm) Not a good situation. The landlady was behind us, but the new tenants couldn't really take a hint. So we slept with my sister and brother-in-law that night and then moved out to California on the 20th.

December 21 -- Checked into our new apartment. Beautiful, close, and fun. We were really excited about it.

December 24-25 -- Christmas with the Ozbirns. That's my wife's family. It was a lot of fun spending time with them. Her brother, who recently joined the army rangers, was home for the break, and it was nice to finally meet him. That's right, I hadn't met him until then. But we all had a wonderful time, and we really enjoyed waking up in the morning and spending some great time with the family. I really do love my in-laws, and am truly enjoying spending time with them. It was very much fun.

December 25-28 -- With my parent in Santa Rosa. We had a fun time on Saturday for McKenna's baptism as a member of the church, and then we also had an "open house", more of a holiday party that people could drop in and see us. it was a lot of fun, and we had a good time meeting people and learning more about those people that truly love us. It's really thrilling and we are glad that we can be there and have these people that really care about us.

December 28 - Jan 2 -- Honeymoon in the Napa Valley. My parents kindly lent us their timeshare in the napa valley, a 850 square foot 1 bedroom suite with two televisions, and a two person in-room whirlpool. Oh yea, the showerhead had 5 heads. It was seriously amazing. Helped me design my future shower in my home. On Tuesday, we drove into the city and had a wonderful dinner at Scoma's in San Francisco. Believe me, it's as good as it sounds. We then went to the Orpheum Theater on Market Street, and watched an incredible rendition of Phantom of the Opera from the second row. Lindsay even saw the tag on the Phantom's cape. It was really fun. On Thursday, we went to dinner at the Celadon restaurant, where I got the "kobe flat iron steak with yukon gold potato gratin, broccoli rabe and blackberry sauce". IT WAS AMAZING! I loved it. I recommend this restaurant to anyone, just remember to call for a reservation first.

Anyway, that's the last couple weeks in a nutshell.

We are almost moved in completely, and we just bought a new couch. Photos will be coming your way soon.

I'll be back frequently now.

P.S. I start work tomorrow. Work at 8 a.m. Sigh. More news later!

A Couple Rants

1. BYU Students who wear University of Utah hoodies to school. Ok, let's get something straight: I'm not talking about generic red shirts, or anything like that (although, those are  pretty unacceptable during a big sport rivalry week like this one). I'm talking about those BYU students who feel it's ok to wear their U hoodies on campus. It's not. I don't care if you grew up three steps from the stadium and went to every game growing up and your family has 300 years of tradition in the school. You now go to BYU. Put the hoodie away for a few years, and pull it out again later. I don't care if you are a fan of the U, but they are the rival school. Imagine going to Ohio State and wearing a Michigan sweatshirt. They might kill you. These things matter, people!
2. Twilight: The WB Movie. I am not going to hate on the phenomenon, or anything like that. In fact, I think that Roger Ebert summed it up best in his review of the movie (here): "But I understand who "Twilight" appeals to, and it sure will." That's not an attack on the film. I think it will do very well, and that it won't be THAT bad. However, it wasn't made for me. So I can accept that. What I can't stand is the shoddy production values of the movie. Have you seen some of the special effects? They look attached to a harness. That's not ok. The action sequences that I have seen (admittedly few) seem to come straight from an episode of Charmed. Sigh. The acting -- well, judge for yourself by watching the trailer at apple.com.
3. Quantum of Solace disrespect. Disclaimer: I MAY SPILL A SPOILER. I really enjoyed the movie on its merits. I understand that Casino Royale was a great movie that set up expectations really high for Daniel Craig's next entry (arguable, the best Bond ever). And this movie probably doesn't live up to the character development expectations. However, the movie is perfect in what it is: an emotional outrage against the organization that killed the love of Bond's life. He's mad. He's upset. He just wants to kill people. And he does. I'm glad he doesn't fall in love during this movie. He was in REAL love last movie. That's not the point of this one. He's motivated to get revenge. To get those people back who killed Vesper. And in that anger and grittiness, it's believable. I like that they didn't delve too deep. It was a continuation of his anger over the death of his love. It felt right. However, the next one should continue with a new story, and some great villians. I would argue this is a good middle entry, but the next one needs to push forward in the story and create more atmosphere like Casino Royale. I'm excited, however, because I think Craig is perfect in this gritty reimagining of the Bond franchise.

I'm done. I just wanted to get that stuff out.

ONE MORE THING: I got married. It was amazing. We were sealed, had a fantastic luncheon with great food and atmosphere (Mom, you did wonderfully!0, and moved to a wonderful reception. The reception was outdoors, and GORGEOUS. The location was perfect, and the food was wonderful as well. Then the perfect quick weekend at The Rose Hotel in Pleasanton, CA. Thanks to all that were there. I appreciate the love and respect! Lindsay and I are so happy to be together, and I'm blessed to have a wonderful, beautiful, amazing, and talented wife.

Until next time.

Our Times

My mom read me this quote the other day, and I thought it so very applicable:

"Make no mistake about it, brothers, and sisters, in the months and years ahead, events are likely to require each member to decide whether or not he will follow the First Presidency. In short brothers and sisters, not being ashamed of the gospel of Jesus Christ includes not being ashamed of the prophets of Jesus Christ. Your discipleship may see the time when such religious convictions are discounted. Let us leave a record so that the choices are clear, letting others do as they will in the face of prophetic counsel."

Neal A. Maxwell, President of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints said this in 1978. 1978. Never is it more applicable than presently. The prophet of this dispensation, Thomas S. Monson, recently asked membership of the church to support and vote yes on the proposition 8 movement in California. Let me rephrase: he announced that the church supports proposition 8 and asked the membership to cast a "yes" vote and work to obtain the necessary votes to pass this ballot measure. It's important.

I guess I should just say, as trite as it may be: "As for me and my house ..."

Not to mention the logical arguments that can be made to pass such a measure.

You know what to do now.

P.S. I thought this article by Orson Scott Card, an LDS democrat and journalist was a fascinating view of the current economic crisis, http://www.meridianmagazine.com/ideas/081017light.html

Don't hate me for my opinion, but I just needed to say that.

P.P.S. VOTE!!!!!

Mission Video

So, this mission video was made by one of the missionaries that served with me, Elizabeth Clark. If you wanna see me, forward to 30:20.

I'm warning you now, IT'S REALLY LONG. REALLY LONG. LIKE 40 MINUTES LONG. But it's cool.

Enjoy.

Comment as usual.

My Personal Opinions

Well, today I've decided to fill a post with my opinions. I'm going to write about politics, civil rights, and other things. Here goes:

• Proposition 8: I support proposition 8. And no, that doesn't make me a bigot, nor a hater or anything of the sort. It simply makes me someone who supports the definition of traditional marriage. I get so sick of hearing that this argument is all about "civil rights" and hatred and bigotry. The reality is that it has nothing to do with civil rights. I think that those who were involved in the civil rights movements of the 20's and 60's should almost be offended that this is being compared to those. Homosexuals have the right to vote and participate in the political process. They have the right to receive the benefits that straight married couples receive. There's no comparison. They simply want to apply the term marriage to their civil unions. I do not support this. I agree that homosexual couples deserve certain rights and that they should have the opportunity to receive the same benefits as married straight couples, however, they don't need to call this marriage. This push has been talked about as "equality". It has nothing to do with equality at this point. They'd have you believe that you are intolerant if you support proposition 8. When did the definition of tolerate (according to the interwebz: To allow (something that one dislikes or disagrees with) to exist or occur without interference) to embrace? Why do I have to love and support and accept and embrace homosexuality to tolerate it? The reality is that I am not going to stop you living in your lives until you try to interfere with mine. So please, don't accuse me of bigotry and hatred. It's merely an argument against the redefinition of marriage. Gay couples already have civil unions. As far as I'm concerned, that's good.
• Democratic Leadership: I'm scared. And that's not because Barack Obama is likely to be our next president. He's not a bad person, and in fact, he has some policies that I agree with and support (gun control, net neutrality, part of his economic policies) and I won't be angry when he (most likely) wins the next election. That's not the problem. The problem is the unchecked ownership of the democratic party in the government. With almost the 60 votes needed in the senate to push bills straight to vote and a majority in both the house and senate, it would seem that there will be a lot of unchecked power in the government for at least the next couple years. It's a problem. Some would argue that Bush has overused the power of the executive branch -- however, everything he did was within the power of the executive branch during war time or with the support of the house and senate. However, with unchecked power in the government, the whole liberal agenda could be pushed through quickly. Extremely left-wing people will be happy with this, but the majority of the US should be worried. Our government has always been about checks and balances. This year, we are potentially removing every one of them (the judicial branch is also very liberal). This is worrisome. I don't like that picture. Especially when Obama originally began his campaign talking about cooperation and support of both parties, and has now moved to the extreme. I don't worry about Obama being president: I worry about the entire liberal agenda being moved through in 4 years. Be careful America. There are a lot of conservatives out there.
• "Stupid Conservatives": I get so sick of listening to highly liberal people talk about how conservative are stupid. Some say "Religion is just a crutch for the weak". (Yes, I've heard it plenty of times) It's interesting stuff. And I would like to refute it: I'm a very religious person. As a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, I'm one of the more religious people that you might now. And I do not believe that my religion is a crutch. I enjoy having my faith in the Lord and Savior, and in God. He is powerful, and provides a lot of support and strength in this world. Religion has not made me blind. The reality is that I choose to be who I am and to do the things that I do. I choose to obey God's commandments and to follow His path. This does not make me weak. I would argue it makes me stronger. But that's a useless argument to those who don't understand the nature of God. I only ask that you stop useless attacks on religion itself.
• TV: There are great shows I recommend: The Office, Heroes, 24 (January), Eleventh Hour, Chuck, Terminator: The Sarah Conner Chronicles, The Simpsons, Family Guy, Seinfeld, House and Fringe. Watch them.
• Politicians: I love that supporters of Obama would refer to McCain as a politician. He's not really a "true" politician. If he was, he wouldn't say things that he says. He'd be more "polished" and ambiguous and less argumentative and crochety. Those are all qualities that a certain "true" politician has: Obama. If there is one thing Obama is, it's a career politician. He speaks well, presents himself in a political manner and uses the word "change" a lot. If there is one person in this election that's a true politician, it's Barack Obama.
• Obama's Health Plan: Social security is a mess. NASA is a mess. Medicare is a mess. Our country is deeply in debt. And Obama's going to cut taxes on the "middle class", skyrocket taxes on the rich and then use government money to create a goverment organization to provide socialized healthcare? Why would we want that. The government has failed in providing us with social security and medicare already. Why would we believe that the government can run our healthcare better than it already is? Taxes will be lower, and we'll find money to pay down our debt and create new, HUGE government programs? Does anyone else see the problem here?

Ok. I think I'm done. I know that I don't know everything. My opinions are just that: opinions. But I honestly hope that people will think during this election about what will be best for not only our country, but every country. The world benefits from democracy and freedom. Get out and vote. No matter who you are voting for, VOTE! Don't let people decide for you. Make your own decisions. But think through it and remember that not everything that is said is true. Don't get caught up in "change" or "hope". These are great things, but remember, without action, hope and change are just wishy washy concepts. Be careful and think before you vote.

Comment away.